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Thoughts on self-control

M. Scott Peck who wrote one of the first so-called self-help books, The Road Less Traveled, died not too long ago at the age of 69. The key component of this book is self-discipline, an idea he felt was essential to living a full life. He wrote book after book on this idea. And yet, at an interview shortly before his death, he reviews his life very simply, “Gin, cigarettes and women, I am a prophet not a saint!” His wife of 43 years had left him, and bitterness and regrets had become his story.  Even though he still had a great deal of money, two of his three sons would not speak to him, and several advancing health issues dominated his days. He hints multiple times that he could speak and write about self-discipline but was unable to practice it.

Sampson is a well known Bible character, called to be a judge and deliverer for Israel. God gave him great strength. He used this strength to challenge the Philistines (an ancient enemy of Israel), even overcoming 1,000 of them in battle, not using a sword but the jawbone of a donkey. He was a hero to Israel. He also could not control his behavior and found his life out of control a little at a time. This led to a night of drinking and revelry with a Philistine prostitute named Delilah. The next morning Philistine soldiers came to arrest him, and as he prepared to face them, discovered his divine strength was gone, a strength that had left him a little at a time. This leads to one of, I think, the saddest verses in the Bible.

As the Philistines prepared to arrest him:
“Samson awoke from his sleep and said, ‘I will go out as at other times and shake myself free.’ But he did not know that the Lord had departed from him.” Judges 16:20

Samson is arrested, blinded and used to grind grain at a mill.

The life that God had blessed so many times before, the life that he had given such great strength to, the life with so much talent, God could no longer bless. This was not God’s doing, this was Samson’s.

The evidence of faith is conviction, courage, and strength. What are the convictions in my life? What do I really believe, value, and love?

When people sometimes think the evidence of faith is a miracle that makes life easier, more often than not the evidence of strength is courage to make the right choices, fight for the right causes, live a life that God can bless and value fellowship with God as the greatest value.

M. Scott Peck, like Samson, was a hero for his generation, writing a self-help book that sold 10 million copies. Like Samson, he had great success, elevated above his peers for his wisdom and talent. But like Samson, he had little self-control and ended up squandering God’s blessings.

The end for M. Scott Peck was sad, but Samson had a different story. While in prison, he found a place to turn back to God, to refocus his life upon his faith, his fellowship with God and what God had called him to do — to lead the nation of Israel. In a heroic moment, he places his hands on two pillars in a Philistine temple to Dagon, praying, “O Lord God, please remember me and please strengthen me,” and exerting divine strength, he caused the walls to come crashing down.

Called Annual Conference Session First Methodist Mansfield

Thought folks might be interested in the Called Annual Conference Session First Methodist Mansfield hosted last Saturday, November 13.  This is both an end and a beginning, the end of a year and half of leading a Task Force to Realign the Central Texas Conference more clearly around our mission, the presentation of the alignment plan to our Annual Conference, the almost unanimous vote to accept, and now our commitment to pray that the 340 United Methodist Churches in our area will “Make Disciples of Jesus Christ for the Transformation of the World,” our mission as a Denomination.   Read all about the changes on the Central Texas Conference’s website.

Surprising Commands of Jesus

We live in a world where fear is rampant.  So much of the media panders and even creates fear knowing that fear produces consumers of their news and products.  We live in a world where skepticism and cynicism seem to reign in so many corners.  Leaders have let us down so often trust is hard to come by and doubt is easy.  We live in a world where anxiety and worry are everywhere.  Millions and millions of dollars are spent every year in this country to manage worry.    Jesus said some very simple surprising commands.  Most of us know the Ten commandments, yet we sometimes forget some of the basic commands of Jesus, or we are still in the learning process.  Do Not fear;  Do not Doubt;  Do not worry Jesus said….It is interesting to note that following Jesus includes living in courage, faith, and peace.  We must never let the messages of our world that demand we live as skeptics, walk in fear, and experience constant anxiety set the rules for us.       Jesus sets the rules that believers follows.

Memorial day

During my college years, because I was a veteran, it was my privilege to work at a National Cemetery, the one in Springfield, Missouri.  There are veterans of both sides of the Civil War buried here along with veterans of every war.  While I worked there a woman in a Mercedes convertible came and stood by a grave almost every day. I served there for almost 3 years.   This was unusual for anyone, but in that community one did not see many of these kind of vehicles.  She would stand at the grave and often cry.  I discovered she had a son who was killed in the Viet Nam war some years before.  Even though by then the war was over and most of America was trying to put it into past memories if not just trying to forget this ten year war.  She remembered every detail;  the grave and tombstone of her only son still cried loudly of his and her sacrifice.  Memorial day is about “remembering” these sacrifices, not just the soldier or sailor who gave their lives, but their mom’s, dads, families, and nations who grieved and remembered that sacrifice.  This Memorial Day, join me in remembering.  We live with freedom and hope because of these kind of sacrifices.  It is important that those who lost loved ones don’t cry alone.

Miramar Beach Florida

One of our favorate places in the world

Julie’s letter

Many have asked to read the entire e-mail that Julie Warren sent.  Here it is:

I don’t think anyone knows at the time that God is at work in their life.  But as one reflects back then you see His hand at work molding the clay so to speak.  When did I realize God was calling me?  Was it as a child being required to go to Church every Sunday morning and Sunday school 3 o’clock in the afternoon that first began my journey?  Was it youth group with my school friends on Friday nights at a Baptist Church – pronouncing my belief in Jesus as my Lord and savior and getting dunked?  Was it listening to the news when I was 14 – hearing about flooding in far off Bangladesh sweeping away the lives of thousands and being compelled to fundraise and send the 84 pounds off to the relief efforts, or maybe it was protesting the nuclear subs coming into Vancouver BC along with my fellow Peace & Justice Ministry friends from Fairview Baptist Church.  Was it when I married my husband and had three babies – true miracles?  As a young mother in Toledo, OH every Tuesday morning I would pack up my children and the playpen and spend my morning soaking stamps off envelopes for the Heifer project and at some point along the way giving my first Sunday morning message as an Elder of a Christian Church Disciples of Christ on world poverty.  I slowly drifted away from God, my parents passed on but God – my faith got me through.  I know He held my hand; I know He gave me hope and comfort bringing me to a place of peace.

It was Thanksgiving 2004 that my life really got a jolt.  It was late on a Saturday night when the youngest of my 3 sons stood at the end of our bed after getting in and announced that at 17 years old he was gay.  My dreams of his future wife and grandchildren shattered, I spent most of the night crying which continued the next morning all the way to my work.  Dana, in the meantime, went round to our neighbors Suzanne and Charlie Gelineau who had mentioned their Church to us back in the summer, asking them what time services were and where exactly the Church was to be found.  He then got the boys up and took them to Church to find the God who had so recently eluded us.  By Monday afternoon I was visiting Pastor Mike’s office to check him out and to ask him what he thought about gays and to make sure that he realized that with Julie Warren – what you see you get!  Mike simply said to me about my son “Always remember, you are his mother first and it is your job to love him.”

In late April, Mike had members of the congregation in the midst of a challenge which included journal writing; I had been following along quite nicely, totally immersed in The Kingdom, but not God’s Kingdom, rather the Kingdom of Me.  There I sat one Sunday in the back row, not particularly paying attention, when Mike’s word hit me “I challenge you this week to find a way to be engaged in mission.”  Those words were meant for me.  That morning, like never before, God was compelling me to do something in mission.  I can remember that moment like it was yesterday – for up to that point I had been heavily engaged in the Kingdom of Me and I liked it. I sat there thinking back to my life before family and my dreams and aspirations to serve others in a mission setting, where had that woman gone to?  So having a mini- mid-life crisis meltdown the next day I attended a meeting of the newly started Africa Ministry – in truth the Kingdom of Me was still alive and well since I was already figuring out how little time I could devote to the Ministry and still feel great about my dedication to the cause.  Following that meeting, I was looking forward to the prospect of a little trip to Africa to hug a few cute children and maybe take a little safari.

I was part of a team, and had even generously taken on the task of creating a poster on Zimbabwe, the Church’s mission focus area.  By Tuesday, I had called Jennifer Bellamy at Central Texas Conference office to see what she had available for mission trips “We need a nurse to go to Zimbabwe” I was told. I rolled my eyes – of all the countries in Africa Zimbabwe wasn’t in my plan – couldn’t even spell it.  Have you noticed how God isn’t really interested in your plans, that he has his own plan for you?  Well by the following Monday God had grown tired of me and all I thought I could do for Him.  It was at 9:30 am that he decided to shower down his blessings on me.

My water heater sprung a leaky pipe and before I knew it water was dripping down through two ceilings – just enough for the damage to need expert repair.  The pipe was easily fixed by a plumber, but the ceilings needed patching and when Jerome came to give me an estimate he spotted my Zimbabwe poster and then spent the next hour talking about the place where he was raised and I fell in love with a place that I had said I wasn’t in my plan.  I was compelled to listen to God and get real.

In July 2006, I led the Church’s first team of 14 to Zimbabwe.  A medical team that ran a clinic at Mafararikwa school in a remote rural area of the Eastern Highlands.  That week our team saw over 1400 children, teachers and women.  My heart was broken.  My ego broken.  Tired, for the first time in my life I was being used for His purpose.  As I laid my sin before the cross I saw Christ’s arms open wide for me, just as they are for you.

So God had brought me to a point of realization, that I can’t be anything I want to be, but rather I can be everything that God wants me to be.  Each one of us is unique and God is looking for ordinary people to make a difference in His Kingdom.  He did this for me.  He ignited a passion and drive in me that compels me to pursue justice for the least and the last.  The strangest part of it all is just how ordinary I am, yet He opens doors so there is a voice speaking out for the invisible in our broken world.

I have led several international trips now and met many interesting people along the way and had the opportunity to do some exciting things – all because God has given me spiritual gifts that allow me to be all God wants me to be.

In 2007 Dana and I went to Rick Warren’s Church Saddleback in California to Kay Warren’s Global AIDS Summit we both attended a variety of inspiring talks and workshops.  After one such workshop I was sitting outside on a low wall – waiting for Dana and the speaker from the workshop I had attended sat down next to me.  Dr. Pauline Muchina a Senior Advisor for UNAIDS and I began talking and before I knew it we had dinner plans and were becoming fast friends.  Pauline, originally from Kenya, has opened my eyes to how women are treated in our world.  At that same Summit was Shane Stafford a UMC pastor who became HIV positive from a blood transfusion treating his hemophilia.  We were to meet again in Fort Worth at the General Conference of the UMC the following spring where he spoke at the HIV/AIDS Conference along with Pauline and Kay Warren.  This was where I was able to go to dinner with them all and Don Messer the Director of the Global AIDS Fund.  It was at General Conference I met Christine the Pastor who is studying at SMU from Zimbabwe, I connected her with FUMC Mansfield and as a result we have been helping Batsirai a pastor’s wife go to school the result of which appears to be the development of several deep relationships with the church family.  It was also here that I met Bishop Innis of Liberia whom I would work with on Liberian Health Care, as well as President Johnson Sirleaf  of Liberia.

I also had a wonderful opportunity to stay with Pauline in Arlington VA and attend the President’s prayer breakfast.

God has pushed me beyond my limits – as a result of knowing Joyce Muchechetere I was part of the group that started up the nonprofit organization Beacon of Hope and Joy.  When I started I think there were about 50 orphans being supported as I handed it back to the Hatts and Joyce’s daughter I think we had 500 orphans paying their school fees, giving them shoes, school supplies and starting a uniform sewing project.  I had never done non-profit paperwork before, but using sources online I put it all together submitted it in the June and it was approved in the September – absolutely unheard of fast and without corrections!  Glory to God.

During this time I became the UMVIM Coordinator for Central TX Conference which enabled me to further be the voice for women and children.  Last year I led a team of 20 to Ganta from FUMC Mansfield, it was interesting to watch as people got frustrated believing they didn’t have enough to do, but God’s hand was in this changing their hearts preparing them for re-entry.  On this team we had the Director of the Board of Church and Society’s End Fistulas Campaign – the Rev Jill Wiley who had the opportunity to better understand the trauma women go through physically, emotionally and spiritually when suffering with fistulas.  My role on medical teams is to mentor the doctors and nurses on serving, on how to teach and shepherd the medical staff where we are, on how to leave a legacy.  As a result of our visit I wrote up a report and sent it to UMCOR addressing moral concerns – an investigation resulted from the report which led to significant changes at the school to keep young girls safe – away from predators, as well as close examination as to how the hospital could run more effectively and a Hospital Board of Governance was created.

Christmas 2008 and I was concerned about the severe cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe and it was then that I asked Mike to make an appeal for money to buy cholera meds.  Christmas Eve service – wow what a response.  The money poured in.  After speaking with Drew Harvey in Pennsylvania who heads up Nyadire Connection and Greg Jenks, Director of ZOE Ministry both agreed to add to the funds and pretty soon the supplies to treat cholera were making their way to Zimbabwe enough for thousands of people to be treated.  In February, I travelled with Greg to Zimbabwe and visited the UM hospitals who were receiving the supplies, as well as took time to visit the ZOE Ministry feeding sites and the school where FUMC Mansfield’s first Africa trip served – deserted due to the terrible economic conditions that necessitated children farming and teachers to go out looking for food as they weren’t receiving salaries.  Greg of course made immediate arrangements to help pay teachers and feed them and get the children back.

I went on the next week to Liberia where I was part of a team of partners concerned with the direction of health care in Liberia.  At this meeting were Sam Dixon UMCOR General Sec, Clint Rabb General Sec UMVIM, Dr. Cherian Thomas UMCOR Health, Liberian Government officials, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundations representative, UNAIDS, as well as other UMC partners.  As a result of this meeting and subsequent visit to a rural clinic watching 42 traditional birthing attendants meeting for their weekly education on how to best birth babies in their villages the UMCOR birthing kits were born.  From this meeting 3 things were confirmed for  me: 1.  Access to health care is limited in areas of poverty for women and children – especially during pregnancy and after.  2.  Clean drinking water is essential, but limited  3.  No woman should deliver on the dirt under a hot sun! – A birthing center only costs $2000 to build!  Dr. Cherian Thomas and I spent time talking about what was needed – at one point he asked if in 2010 I would spend 3 months in Liberia getting the hospital into shape, which I didn’t agree to do, but we discussed the birthing kits – which teams were purchasing from various organizations, but thought that the UMWs etc could put them together.  I researched the stats on their success and also using WHO studies put together a kit based on the essential items.  I sent my prototypes to Cherian, Sam, and Kathy at UMCOR Sager Brown Depot asking for their comments and with none made I think it was May or June the Kits were launched as an UMCOR Kit.  The key for me was coming up with the kit and letting go of the project because God always grows things beyond my imagination when I keep my fingers out!!   So after them going crazy all over the country – when I arrived in Virginia they were expecting me as I was the UMVIM Coordinator for Central TX Conference and the Jurisdiction had sent a note to say look after Julie!  At the first UMVIM meeting I attended at VA Conference office I told Denise Honeycutt the Director of Humanitarian Services for VA about the kits and she asked me for information which she put it on the website and now Virginia has got the kit passion!

I spoke to Clint the day before the earthquake we were going to Zimbabwe together this spring to work on starting a project at a Mutambara Hospital he had asked me to head up.  Sam was going to help fund me…These two have been such an inspiration to me.

Right now I am helping the new Director of Healthy Families Healthy Planet of the Board of Church and Society to better understand maternal child health issues.  In June I will be at the Board of Church and Society’s Annual Dinner speaking with Katey on Women’s Health – getting the word out on how we can all be a part of impacting the world where women continue to struggle.

In 2007 I was awarded the Frist Humanitarian Award and was named the Employee of the Year for MCA as a result I got to throw the official first pitch at the Rangers game.  Just to make sure I was humble about it God made sure I didn’t get to pitch to a great player – just the mascot!!  A guy who dressed up like a horse and had the cheek to say to me “I hope you deliver babies better than you pitch!”  I got the ball straight to him with just one bounce thank you very much.

In 2009 I was named one of the 100 Great Nurses of DFW.

I couldn’t do any of this alone – the true miracle in this is my husband Dana.  He is a patient saint who tolerates my “great” ideas, puts himself last and supports me in all I do.  He has been the true spiritual head of our household (I tell him I am the neck that moves the head!) always giving me wise counsel, never discouraging me.  We have a true Godly partnership bound by love and centered in God.  Our is a true celebration of a life together sanctified by God.

Key lessons learned:

• Pray for every baby you help bring into the world and say thank you.
• Each one of us is unique.  God has created us all for a special purpose.  We just need to listen, and step up to use our spiritual gifts.  I remind folks that if you have the Holy Spirit in you then you do have spiritual gifts.  You will know when you are using them believe me!
• When folks ask how do they find their purpose – I tell them God has written them a love letter, the bible, open it up you might find something out about yourself
• It is not about me.  Never has been.  Never will be.  It is all about God.  This is probably the most freeing thing in life – it allows you not to focus on keeping control, but letting go.  Allowing others to grow things you have planted.  Beacon of Hope and Joy –wow, the birthing kits – crazy how great that project is saving the lives of mothers and babies (they have brought me the greatest joy because of how much they have empowered people to serve and the passion that people have in doing them – I could never have achieved that – major wow!) So allow others to experience joy and just be there if needed.
• God is like the master baker.  We are like the ingredients.  No one wants to eat a cup of flour, but when you put it with all the other ingredients you have the most delicious cake.
• True joy is being the answer to a prayer.  Being someone’s hope.
• God uses the most ordinary people in extraordinary ways
• To pray each day for God to reveal His purpose to me and to use me for that purpose
• Personal holiness to social holiness = wholeness
• Every breath I take someone dies in poverty.  The stats go on – and what must I do about that?  How can anyone not do something.  Several times a day when I am aware of my breathing I stop say a little prayer for people in poverty and make sure I am doing something, however small to make an impact. Be a voice…and keep being a voice.  When people don’t listen keep talking.  Be the change.
• Love one another

Mother’s Day

My mother died 4 years ago.  I think of her often.  Every year I would give her yellow roses for her birthday, since she was a real Texas girl, even though we lived all over the world growing up, the yellow rose of Texas always seemed fitting.  When my twin brother and I were baptized as babies she asked God to have one of us be a Methodist Preacher and the other a Doctor.  She got it half right, both of us are Methodist Preachers.  Give your mother a call on Mother’s Day, they are never around long enough.  You will typically have few people in your life who will love you no matter what.  My Mom was a love you no matter what Mother, Bonnie, Wynona, Bearfield Ramsdell.  Happy Mothers day to all.

God’s miracle

This field of wheat is just as few blocks from my house.  I have watched it grow since it was planted last fall, it is called winter wheat.  Just a short time ago it was covered with a foot of snow, now the grain is close to being ripe and will turn a beautiful bronze color in a short time, and then the harvest.  I think of the farmer who tilled the ground, planted the seed, and then hoped for the miracle of growth to happen.  The miracle is the amazing life that God placed in a small seed, the miracle now about to be harvested.   One day a loaf of bread you eat may include this miracle.  The farmer is in partnership with  God, he dreamed and planted the seed, God made it grow.  I see you and me as partners with God.  We dream and plant, but the miracle is God’s to give. Thank you Jesus is so willing to share His miracles with us as we participate in life, life abundant  as Jesus called it.  Who knows the dormant miracles that surround all of us;  add some faith, act on that faith, and…………..the miracle.